I have a new baby (well he is 6 months now)
It seems different after having him. Things feel different from when I had
Aumari.
I Had AWFUL post partum depression after I had her and this time I feel happy.
I have more sunshine shining into my home...
I haven't had much contact with those that brought me misery which has been hard
considering the closeness I had with them regardless of the energy they carried.
But this post isn't about that...I wanted to share with you whats been weighing on my
heart lately.
We all have that one song that when we hear it, we have to turn it up and sing with it, right?
Well if you don't, you should find one.
My song would have to be "just keep breathing" by we the kings or "I'm still breathing" by Katy Perry. Those two songs have the word "breathing" in them cause we as humans, forget to focus on our breathing...we need to be more in the moment.
Depression is evil...it grabs hold of you and chokes you...trying to take your ever giving life and drown your spirit.
3 words that give me a reason everyday
Love
Breath
Live
Love with all your heart, physically, mentally, emotionally...just LOVE...but love yourself more than the next person.
Breath in your surroundings, breath in the fresh air outside, breath in the scent of your child, your spouse, your hair.....take it all in.
Live for the moment you're in. Cherish it like a diamond.
When I was 33 weeks pregnant with Treyton I began to have contractions, I was so swollen I felt like I was going to explode like a water balloon. We were in Vegas and I was with my older Sister Sara in the store and she put her hand on my belly and Treyton kicked her and he kicked her hand so hard that I had to take a deep breath cause it was so strong...But it was okay cause this was the first time she was able to see me, the baby of the siblings, her little sister, pregnant with a huge belly and miserable! (I know, weird...) 2 weeks later, after multiple hospital visits, I went into full blown pre-term labor and our sweet boy was born. When he was born he came out not breathing and I was so scared he wasn't going to make it, I whispered over and over again "breath. Treyton, breath."
He gave his first breath 10 minutes after being born and the nurses breathing for him. My son gave life. I loved; I grew love for him, for my dr, for the nurses, for the nicu dr's, for the many friends who came to visit and for my Husband who seems to lose sleep constantly for this family of ours.
I am alive, my baby is alive. We are breathing. It amazes me what miracles can happen for us who feel so undeserving. Zak was there every second making sure we were okay. We didn't sleep for 3 days. Let me tell you, it is so awful to go home without your child btw...He stayed in the Nicu for 5 days and it was such an emotional week. The night I had him, it was my friends birthday and we were supposed to go to dinner to celebrate and instead, I went into the hospital and had my baby (Happy Birthday to my sweet girl, Cheyann.) She was at my side the whole two weeks I was in pain and was at the hospital experiencing the miracle of life with me and was there for me every second and when people hear that they wonder why I allowed her there with only knowing her less than a year, but I honestly wouldn't have wanted anyone else there.
Friendship is such an amazing bond. I can honestly say I have 3 friends who I wouldn't ever doubt being here for me. Friendships that mean so much to me...They're on that family level and I think we all need that in our lives. I come from a very hard background...But I have learned to take the good out of it and grow from it. Its helped me throughout my adult years and has helped me as a Wife and as a Mother...Now I know I am not perfect by all means I am not, But I am unique, my experiences have helped me mature into who I am today and having someone who loves and accepts us for who we are, is what helps me be strong for my kids...for my Husband even.
Having another child has been such a new experience for me, way different than just being a teenage mother with Aumari. Bringing Treyton into this world was full of so much doubt and sacrifice, it was honestly the hardest most terrifying thing I have ever done...But here I am 6 months after giving birth to him and losing my patience alongside losing sleep. Aumari was so easy compared to Treyton cause from day 1 she slept 14 hours a night with dream feeding and she would wake up with a new tooth without a sign of pain; Now Treyton sleeps for 2 hours and wakes up to eat and has been drooling and biting and grouchy for almost a month now, but he's here. He is happy. He is healthy and he is here!!!
If I can teach anything out of this post of experiences it would be to just live in the moment and always remember to breath through the tuff times. Theirs a reason for everything. Their really is a reason for anything good or bad that happens.
With Love. Liz.
and weighed and measured him then the 24hour oxygen mask
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| 2 weeks after having him. So happy! |
