Its crazy how much has happened this past year. We welcomed in our sweet boy in February and he is just growing like a weed. We also celebrated our bubbly Daughter's 3rd birthday.
It fascinates me to see how far Zak and I have come in our lives as well as our marriage. As a child I never thought that marriage really took as much work as it did...I always thought it was just what happened. You get married, have kids and that was that. But no way is it just THAT simple. A marriage requires so much "work" but it requires some "down" time also. You need to enjoy it, not just see it as a habit forming lifestyle cause then what kind of progression are you and your spouse gaining? none. Learning to throw in a few moments everyday for the rest of your marriage, such as a moment to laugh together, a moment to cry together, a moment to yell at each other and a moment to just BE together...these 4 things are what will help your marriage grow. They will help your marriage become more than just a marriage, but being with THE ONE. You can be 50 years old and still not know the full potential of being married to your life long partner, all due to being busy with everyday schedules between you both as well as taking care of your kids...
Now even if you do those 4 things, you can still let time pass and you begin to feel tension between you both, that is when you need to set aside an hour and just re-group with your spouse.
Now mind you, I am definitely not saying my marriage is perfect. Please don't be mistaken...That is one thing that social media is GREAT for, is masking everyone's life if they allow it. Here...let me take a couple of your reading seconds and put MY life TRULY out there.
Everyday, if we put it all together, I spend a good hour (not all at once of course) but yes,a good hour, yelling at our 3 year old...if you didn't see her typical 3 year old attitude, you'd think I was mean.
Me and Zak, bicker ALOT and get on one anothers nerves, our fights have gotten pretty bad at times, from my crazy hormones making me CRAZY to his patients defusing and we yell at each other and have called each other names.
This is life though, nobody has a picture perfect life. Oh and, my house can get DISGUSTING!! Like...I've left dishes in the sink long enough to mold and also...more than not, I make mac and cheese or peanut butter and jelly for dinner....
A couple weeks ago my brother in law said to me regarding messes "Your home isn't messy, you just know how to have fun." I loved it.
But I sure do try to be the molly housewife that I fan over on pinterest or tv or my neighbors.
Life to my readers out there, I don't want you to degrade yourselves as a spouse or parent, it is the efforts we put into loving and caring for our homes and our families that truly matters. Over the years I have had to develop a routine of setting "me" time aside as well, I began to be too consumed in my electronics, in my kids, and in Zak as well as my past callings or jobs, that I forgot to take a minute to myself and read a book or meditate and treat my mind and soul. Which isn't a bad thing to care for your obligations and be dedicated to completion, but if you don't treat yourself, you can't REALLY treat your spouse and children. "Learn to love yourself so you can fully love others. - Sonja Mylin"
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
cutting ties...
Now days, It is so easy to give but even easier to take because most of this world's population has been raised with no respect for others...Manipulation is easy and disregard for feelings is easier.
How do you tell someone who is a big part of your life, that you just need space for awhile? Maybe for forever...even more so how do you tell that to more than one person? Or an even heavier question, how do you tell people who are apart of your everyday life? people who you constantly give so much of yourself to, people that have been apart of you for 22 years of your life...people who you love so dearly but those people dont seem to share the same type of love that you give to them...I think our world has lost their sense of what unconditional love really is...What do you think it is?
I'm doing what I am doing for my kids....I don't want their sense of what a family is, to be confusing. I don't want my babies to think in order to hold a conversation with someone, they have to talk about themselves, I don't want my children to think the world owes them or to think that they have to compete for love and affection.
I don't want to be who I was raised by.
I want my kids to grow into respectful human beings, to not only have respect for their parents, but for others as well. I want them to always love me and know I am here for them day or night, no strings attached...I want them to know true family values and to always be proud of who they are and where they came from and most of all, to know their worth.
This is going to be the hardest decision I truly have ever made and as much as it may hurt others, it will hurt me most because of all I have done and given...I have exhausted every bit of heart I have had for these people...they have exhausted the means I have for them...
I hope for some understanding in my choice.
We are all human beings who face trials. Its who stays by us willingly, and still loves us the same if not more, that matters. The ones who are here for us thru every stage of our lives, the ones who drop everything to hold our hand, the ones who carry our burdens with us so we arent carrying them alone and the ones who suppress our sadness and anger...those are the people we keep close to us. Those are the ones who matter most. But of all the people we meet, of all the people who we speak to and visit...Our spouse and children are who become first.
How do you tell someone who is a big part of your life, that you just need space for awhile? Maybe for forever...even more so how do you tell that to more than one person? Or an even heavier question, how do you tell people who are apart of your everyday life? people who you constantly give so much of yourself to, people that have been apart of you for 22 years of your life...people who you love so dearly but those people dont seem to share the same type of love that you give to them...I think our world has lost their sense of what unconditional love really is...What do you think it is?
I'm doing what I am doing for my kids....I don't want their sense of what a family is, to be confusing. I don't want my babies to think in order to hold a conversation with someone, they have to talk about themselves, I don't want my children to think the world owes them or to think that they have to compete for love and affection.
I don't want to be who I was raised by.
I want my kids to grow into respectful human beings, to not only have respect for their parents, but for others as well. I want them to always love me and know I am here for them day or night, no strings attached...I want them to know true family values and to always be proud of who they are and where they came from and most of all, to know their worth.
This is going to be the hardest decision I truly have ever made and as much as it may hurt others, it will hurt me most because of all I have done and given...I have exhausted every bit of heart I have had for these people...they have exhausted the means I have for them...
I hope for some understanding in my choice.
We are all human beings who face trials. Its who stays by us willingly, and still loves us the same if not more, that matters. The ones who are here for us thru every stage of our lives, the ones who drop everything to hold our hand, the ones who carry our burdens with us so we arent carrying them alone and the ones who suppress our sadness and anger...those are the people we keep close to us. Those are the ones who matter most. But of all the people we meet, of all the people who we speak to and visit...Our spouse and children are who become first.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
New addition
Its been awhile.
I have a new baby (well he is 6 months now)
It seems different after having him. Things feel different from when I had
Aumari.
I Had AWFUL post partum depression after I had her and this time I feel happy.
I have more sunshine shining into my home...
I haven't had much contact with those that brought me misery which has been hard
considering the closeness I had with them regardless of the energy they carried.
But this post isn't about that...I wanted to share with you whats been weighing on my
heart lately.
We all have that one song that when we hear it, we have to turn it up and sing with it, right?
Well if you don't, you should find one.
My song would have to be "just keep breathing" by we the kings or "I'm still breathing" by Katy Perry. Those two songs have the word "breathing" in them cause we as humans, forget to focus on our breathing...we need to be more in the moment.
Depression is evil...it grabs hold of you and chokes you...trying to take your ever giving life and drown your spirit.
3 words that give me a reason everyday
Love
Breath
Live
Love with all your heart, physically, mentally, emotionally...just LOVE...but love yourself more than the next person.
Breath in your surroundings, breath in the fresh air outside, breath in the scent of your child, your spouse, your hair.....take it all in.
Live for the moment you're in. Cherish it like a diamond.
When I was 33 weeks pregnant with Treyton I began to have contractions, I was so swollen I felt like I was going to explode like a water balloon. We were in Vegas and I was with my older Sister Sara in the store and she put her hand on my belly and Treyton kicked her and he kicked her hand so hard that I had to take a deep breath cause it was so strong...But it was okay cause this was the first time she was able to see me, the baby of the siblings, her little sister, pregnant with a huge belly and miserable! (I know, weird...) 2 weeks later, after multiple hospital visits, I went into full blown pre-term labor and our sweet boy was born. When he was born he came out not breathing and I was so scared he wasn't going to make it, I whispered over and over again "breath. Treyton, breath."
He gave his first breath 10 minutes after being born and the nurses breathing for him. My son gave life. I loved; I grew love for him, for my dr, for the nurses, for the nicu dr's, for the many friends who came to visit and for my Husband who seems to lose sleep constantly for this family of ours.
I am alive, my baby is alive. We are breathing. It amazes me what miracles can happen for us who feel so undeserving. Zak was there every second making sure we were okay. We didn't sleep for 3 days. Let me tell you, it is so awful to go home without your child btw...He stayed in the Nicu for 5 days and it was such an emotional week. The night I had him, it was my friends birthday and we were supposed to go to dinner to celebrate and instead, I went into the hospital and had my baby (Happy Birthday to my sweet girl, Cheyann.) She was at my side the whole two weeks I was in pain and was at the hospital experiencing the miracle of life with me and was there for me every second and when people hear that they wonder why I allowed her there with only knowing her less than a year, but I honestly wouldn't have wanted anyone else there.
Friendship is such an amazing bond. I can honestly say I have 3 friends who I wouldn't ever doubt being here for me. Friendships that mean so much to me...They're on that family level and I think we all need that in our lives. I come from a very hard background...But I have learned to take the good out of it and grow from it. Its helped me throughout my adult years and has helped me as a Wife and as a Mother...Now I know I am not perfect by all means I am not, But I am unique, my experiences have helped me mature into who I am today and having someone who loves and accepts us for who we are, is what helps me be strong for my kids...for my Husband even.
Having another child has been such a new experience for me, way different than just being a teenage mother with Aumari. Bringing Treyton into this world was full of so much doubt and sacrifice, it was honestly the hardest most terrifying thing I have ever done...But here I am 6 months after giving birth to him and losing my patience alongside losing sleep. Aumari was so easy compared to Treyton cause from day 1 she slept 14 hours a night with dream feeding and she would wake up with a new tooth without a sign of pain; Now Treyton sleeps for 2 hours and wakes up to eat and has been drooling and biting and grouchy for almost a month now, but he's here. He is happy. He is healthy and he is here!!!
If I can teach anything out of this post of experiences it would be to just live in the moment and always remember to breath through the tuff times. Theirs a reason for everything. Their really is a reason for anything good or bad that happens.
With Love. Liz.
I love the relationship between these 2
I was extremely swollen from the diabetes
They got him to take his first breath
and weighed and measured him then the 24hour oxygen mask
getting blood for testing and inserting the IV
First look right after his mask came off the next night
Aunt Kim (credit to her for the photos) she put the right quote for our experience
The Flammer Family of 4!
I have a new baby (well he is 6 months now)
It seems different after having him. Things feel different from when I had
Aumari.
I Had AWFUL post partum depression after I had her and this time I feel happy.
I have more sunshine shining into my home...
I haven't had much contact with those that brought me misery which has been hard
considering the closeness I had with them regardless of the energy they carried.
But this post isn't about that...I wanted to share with you whats been weighing on my
heart lately.
We all have that one song that when we hear it, we have to turn it up and sing with it, right?
Well if you don't, you should find one.
My song would have to be "just keep breathing" by we the kings or "I'm still breathing" by Katy Perry. Those two songs have the word "breathing" in them cause we as humans, forget to focus on our breathing...we need to be more in the moment.
Depression is evil...it grabs hold of you and chokes you...trying to take your ever giving life and drown your spirit.
3 words that give me a reason everyday
Love
Breath
Live
Love with all your heart, physically, mentally, emotionally...just LOVE...but love yourself more than the next person.
Breath in your surroundings, breath in the fresh air outside, breath in the scent of your child, your spouse, your hair.....take it all in.
Live for the moment you're in. Cherish it like a diamond.
When I was 33 weeks pregnant with Treyton I began to have contractions, I was so swollen I felt like I was going to explode like a water balloon. We were in Vegas and I was with my older Sister Sara in the store and she put her hand on my belly and Treyton kicked her and he kicked her hand so hard that I had to take a deep breath cause it was so strong...But it was okay cause this was the first time she was able to see me, the baby of the siblings, her little sister, pregnant with a huge belly and miserable! (I know, weird...) 2 weeks later, after multiple hospital visits, I went into full blown pre-term labor and our sweet boy was born. When he was born he came out not breathing and I was so scared he wasn't going to make it, I whispered over and over again "breath. Treyton, breath."
He gave his first breath 10 minutes after being born and the nurses breathing for him. My son gave life. I loved; I grew love for him, for my dr, for the nurses, for the nicu dr's, for the many friends who came to visit and for my Husband who seems to lose sleep constantly for this family of ours.
I am alive, my baby is alive. We are breathing. It amazes me what miracles can happen for us who feel so undeserving. Zak was there every second making sure we were okay. We didn't sleep for 3 days. Let me tell you, it is so awful to go home without your child btw...He stayed in the Nicu for 5 days and it was such an emotional week. The night I had him, it was my friends birthday and we were supposed to go to dinner to celebrate and instead, I went into the hospital and had my baby (Happy Birthday to my sweet girl, Cheyann.) She was at my side the whole two weeks I was in pain and was at the hospital experiencing the miracle of life with me and was there for me every second and when people hear that they wonder why I allowed her there with only knowing her less than a year, but I honestly wouldn't have wanted anyone else there.
Friendship is such an amazing bond. I can honestly say I have 3 friends who I wouldn't ever doubt being here for me. Friendships that mean so much to me...They're on that family level and I think we all need that in our lives. I come from a very hard background...But I have learned to take the good out of it and grow from it. Its helped me throughout my adult years and has helped me as a Wife and as a Mother...Now I know I am not perfect by all means I am not, But I am unique, my experiences have helped me mature into who I am today and having someone who loves and accepts us for who we are, is what helps me be strong for my kids...for my Husband even.
Having another child has been such a new experience for me, way different than just being a teenage mother with Aumari. Bringing Treyton into this world was full of so much doubt and sacrifice, it was honestly the hardest most terrifying thing I have ever done...But here I am 6 months after giving birth to him and losing my patience alongside losing sleep. Aumari was so easy compared to Treyton cause from day 1 she slept 14 hours a night with dream feeding and she would wake up with a new tooth without a sign of pain; Now Treyton sleeps for 2 hours and wakes up to eat and has been drooling and biting and grouchy for almost a month now, but he's here. He is happy. He is healthy and he is here!!!
If I can teach anything out of this post of experiences it would be to just live in the moment and always remember to breath through the tuff times. Theirs a reason for everything. Their really is a reason for anything good or bad that happens.
With Love. Liz.
and weighed and measured him then the 24hour oxygen mask
 |
| 2 weeks after having him. So happy! |
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